Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
