I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
