Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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