She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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