Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
