We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
