I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
