Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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