was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Success! We fucked roommates!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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