Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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