This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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