She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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