she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
