her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
