are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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