As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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