so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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