Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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