SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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