Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
