i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
