Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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