Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
