My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
