so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
