i think my tv is drunk
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
