i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
