he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
