I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You smell like stripper and shame
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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