im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Randomize
