I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
