I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
