there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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