I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
