when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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