there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
