so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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