We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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