I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
