Have you finally orgasmed yet?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
