How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
