Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
