thus making me awesome and them whores
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
