Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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