Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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