I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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