Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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