so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
