This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
