"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I looked at my own cervix.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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