She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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