im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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