Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
