pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
