We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
