their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
