Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
