he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
