Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
And then he peed in my hair
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