Soap is not a condiment
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
