just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
