our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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