Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
