You just made me feel so damn special
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
