Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
