How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
