My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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