It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
