its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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