I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize