forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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