Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
