you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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