NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
